http://cybercupidemag.com/forum/ English Forum - CCeMagazine service@ChinaLoveMatch.net 60 http://www.cybercupidemag.com/forum/ http://www.cybercupidemag.com/images/logo.jpg http://cybercupidemag.com/forum/post.aspx?pkid=263
At first, I imagined that Westerners were very sincere when I was a president in an English school. And this view is the one most widely accepted by Chinese today. I was going to hire someone else for my school's teachers before SARS in 2003. I found them very sexy and very beautiful, but I had to control my feelings because of my duties. So, the root of sincere quality of westerners is in my mind for a very long time. When someone else talks about Westerners' bad nature, I will defend against these Chinese bias.

On the one hand, I have a basic root about Westerners. On the other hand, something interrupted my ideal for them. You can not believe that I really met a guy who wanted to borrow some money about more than 100，000.00 yuan RMB from me because he thought I was an attorney at law in China. My principle is never to lend money to anyone else, no matter who he is, whether he is a Chinese or a foreigner. Because if you borrowed your money to one of your friends, the result in the end was in the loss of friendship. So, I did not borrow money to him, also did not report him as well.

There are another sad thing happened on this dating site. Almost all guys on this dating site asked me to talk online via webcam. But it is something wrong with it, a naked body was showing when I opened my video, so I had to close it when that happened. Too disgusting.

Moreover, "100% having an affair with other girls" made me sad when I tested a guy who declared he loved me only and never talked with any other girls. It was very interesting that this guy showed his interest in this profile of my girl friend's photos and said the same thing with it. Is that true? You know if you were me, when you met a guy who was very sexy and very beautiful, would you worried about him that he would have an affair with other girls as well? That is my nightmare. Although I have never known the feelings about it in reality, I know I will be mad or dead because of it.

Now, something confuses me always. I wish that there is a gentleman of Westerners can explain my big trouble on this nice dating site. Thank you very much. Take care please.

Warm Regards,
Esther]]> http://cybercupidemag.com/forum/post.aspx?pkid=261 Are you ok? ]]> http://cybercupidemag.com/forum/post.aspx?pkid=260 http://cybercupidemag.com/forum/post.aspx?pkid=259
When I begin to write this, I think I am finally over him. But still there are things puzzle me so much. Player? Yes; Player? No… I really don’t know if he was a player or not. I have been on this website for a while (a long while) and there is another question keeps popping up: Is online dating practicable?

I met this man on CLM. I thought he might be the right one for me when I first read his profile. Well-educated (PhD), a professor, much older than me (Age is not a problem as long as he is not old as my grandpa), ordinary looking but exotic in my eyes. I was attracted, maybe because plenty of learning did breed elegant nature, maybe because I knew he would come to China to teach soon. Of course I didn’t want to waste time on someone who would never come to me or me come to him. So I thought maybe this one was real. We kept writing to each other every other day, or every two or three days. For 6 months, we talked about family, life experiences, travel, music, food, daily life, even giving pet names… I really thought we had a lot in common. When the time for his visit to China came near, I felt he was reluctant to reply my emails. He explained that he found my emails in his junk mail folder and he usually delete without checking and I believed. When finally an email came told me that he was in Beijing already, I said: “Wow, unbelievable!”. But I kind of felt my excitement met with coldness. I told him that I felt he was so near, yet so far. He explained he had no internet access in his apartment and he had 1000 things to do and he was at a Starbucks writing me an email and this time I really doubted, because he was the invited visiting professor at this famous university in China.

At the season of fall, I got his last email, here I would post a part. No matter how optimistic I was about online dating, somehow I became really pessimistic about it after this email.

The problem is for me, I think that online communication gives incomplete information about a person, and there are many other things that also matter (maybe little things, but they can add up), but you can only tell by meeting someone in person, sometimes for an extended period of time. It's nobody's fault, but sometimes people turn out to be a little different from what you expect from online correspondence. I've had two experiences already that are like that. There's been no deception involved; it's just that merely writing, or talking, and seeing photos doesn't tell you everything about them. You have to interact with someone in everyday situations. Situations that are a little stressful can be revealing, for example. Or else there can be habits that a person has that someone else may find a little annoying. One or two little things don't matter, but there can be personality conflicts that mean that it won't work.

My situation is different from yours. I'm searching for a Chinese woman, but I now live in a city with millions of them. You are looking for a Western man, and you have no choice but to search online. I have no-one at the moment, but you should understand that from my point of view, it makes sense for me to meet women in person, date them, get to know them, and then move on if it doesn't work out. It's a faster and more natural process than online "dating"; I think it gives me a greater chance of finding someone that I believe is right for me.

I have always felt at ease with you, and you always say things that are sensible, and you have the right attitude towards life. That's why I have never wanted to end our correspondence, but you are also right that I feel a little distant from you. just that you are a long way away, and our only means of interacting is by writing (or talking).


I don’t remember how many times I read this email. My response was not calm at all. I cried and told my mother I wanted to quit my job here to go to Beijing. I didn’t tell her why and she told me to calm down to wait for a right time. She didn’t ask the reason because I kept telling her now and then that I wanted to quit my job to leave for Beijing (My favorite city despite its grey sky.). For a half year, I was focusing on this man (Bren warned us to protect our heart before actually meeting someone, but sometimes you just couldn’t help yourself.). I just couldn’t understand why it took so long a time to tell me that he might never meet me and that online dating is impracticable.

When I asked if he (originally from another country) had an accent and he told me I would be very amused by his *** + American accent in Chinese , I certainly was amused; When he told me he was leaving for a conference, where to stay for the night and when he was going to come back, I was so happy that he would tell me about the small things in his life. When I told him I was decorating an apartment on 9th floor, he told me “I’m afraid that your story about moving apartment strained my overworked brain just a little bit… I love living high up with a view… ”, I felt his words so sweet even though I was not quite fully understand them.
We talked about swimming and I told him I kind of felt I was so close to being able to swim, because I could swim a long distance at one breath but the problem was I didn’t know how to breath. He really laughed when he heard this. (Now I also feel funny too because it’s not easy to learn to swim. I learned in a week and swallowed the swimming-pool water several times, for each swallow of the pool water my coach charged me 10 Yuan). I knew he was working hard on learning Chinese characters. so I told him I still thought learning Chinese characters was much harder than learning to swim, but he disagreed, so we made a bet. I had to swim 200m without stopping and he should learn 2000 Chinese characters. We discussed about what kind of punishment for the one who didn’t keep promise and we agreed on Running up 200 steps without stopping. Later I learned breaststroke but I was not sure about 200m non-stop, but no one got punished. I guess he might make it 2000 Chinese characters, because he was such an eager learner. For half a year I thought he would come to me. Actually he was just pointing out to lead me to think he was going to meet me. Anyway I should thank him for his inspiration, I did learn breaststroke that summer. And it’ was strange that no matter how much I wanted to learn freestyle the next summer, I just could not make it.

It took me a long time to come out of this. I had bought dozens of English books on Chinese culture and tourism before he came to China and I never got the chance to send to him. I realized afterwards that we actually never talked on phone or Yahoo, or MSN. The only email address he gave me was from his university website. (I guess we all learn from experience. Now if someone gave me email like this other than Yahoo, MSN, I would doubt his sincerity). I never doubted it because I believed I would meet him and get to know him in person soon. I knew it sound stupid but for the following few months I checked out about his info online at night basically every night. I got his address and his phone number in China online. I even thought about a surprise visit to him on the campus, which I didn’t do. But I did call him to hear his voice and I snapped off when I heard a voice say “Hello”. I guess he would think someone dialed the wrong number which happened often.

I could not blame him for being so practical, as he is a professor of philosophy (Romantic philosophers please don’t take offence.). I just could not understand why he only told me his thoughts in his last email after 6 months’ correspondence. I also could not understand why when I told him I wanted to apply for a volunteer-teacher job teaching Chinese in North Carolina, he told me America was a lonely place unless I already had relatives or friends there. I never wanted to think he was a player, but somewhat I kept thinking he was. He totally shook my faith in online dating. But as he said, I had no choice but to search online for the one.
And the longer I stay here, the less faith I have. Is online dating practicable? Or is online love possible?
]]> http://cybercupidemag.com/forum/post.aspx?pkid=258 http://cybercupidemag.com/forum/post.aspx?pkid=257
A year ago Justin was back in the USA for a holiday and during a routine check up discovered he had cancer. Justin's no quitter and he endured both chemo and surgery in his battle to survive. More than that, not only did he win the battle, but he has come back to China out of an abiding love of life in this country.

In his honour we created a new video which you can view on the CLM eMagazine homepage. Please click on the link and take the time to view it now. It's worth watching. You may have to give it a minute to download and in China there will be an annoying ad to wait 15 seconds to pass.

Once you've viewed it please drop back here to add your comment welcoming Justin back to China and to CLM eMagazine. ]]> http://cybercupidemag.com/forum/post.aspx?pkid=256 Long long ago, The novelist and scriptwriter, James Hilton, his project is to encourage research into the myths and legends surrounding his most esoteric novel, Lost Horizon, in which Hilton created the earthly paradise of Shangri-La. Here are the sacred mountains, deep canyons, flying waterfall, surrounded by forests of the tranquil lake, in the beautiful grassland flocks and herds, and clean as a mirror of the sky, beautiful decoration. The temples, which have a breathtaking beauty. Pure, hospitable people warmly welcome the guests from afar. This is holy ground, heaven on earth. Here, the sun and the moon is anchored in your heart. This is the legend of a shangri-la. Lijiang to Shangri-La 76 kilometers.
Many people from all over the world come to travel here, and stay here, and live here. In the Bar Street of Lijiang town, there are a pair of husband and wife, husband is Chinese, wife is Korean, they open a small bar, Cherry Bar, before that, and now become a catering company.
Husband is French, wife is Chinese, Once they had a failed marriage, met in Lijiang, and they got married, now they open bakery house.
maybe many people came to Tiger Leaping Gorge, there is the TINA' s Bar, a famous bar. husband is chinese, wife is Australian.
In Baoshan of Lijiang, husband is Chinese, wife is Belgian, they met in Lijiang, and got married, now they built a hotel, is opening soon.
there are many similar to the story in the small city of Lijiang. The next one will be you?


]]> http://cybercupidemag.com/forum/post.aspx?pkid=255
Do Chinese women understand that it is rude to keep checking their smartphone for emails and texting during the dating process?

I want to know up front so I do not waste my time traveling so far just to see a woman interact with her precious phone.

Comments?]]> http://cybercupidemag.com/forum/post.aspx?pkid=254 http://cybercupidemag.com/forum/post.aspx?pkid=253 I was born in a poor countryside, my living enviroment was very terrible, I remenber my mother has suffer unfair treat,Since she gave me a birthday,Because I am a girl, not boy, my father's family attach importance to boy and scorn girl.
In fact, I don't want to said my this bad experience, But I did violate my will. Aha, so what?
Maybe I am not a common girl, so that I always make some things let everybody else misunderstand. I am a chasitity girl, Also I am a compicated girl, you don't know I never have a fixation education. I am lonely all the time. even I don't have a birthday is been celebrated by my parents and else families, I always crying in the ninght, also I made no voice,I know that this is my life, I can't avoid, Just to face!
Saying there. I thinking my this sad fact isn't worth to share.right now, I just want to find a friend, a loyal friend who can let me know life is colorful and let me change.
I never have a boyfriend, including my families forbid I can own this unordinary love , Right now. I will be a big girl, I will be 18 years old after one month. So I want to get a warm feeling from love, I know maybe my familes still oppose it, But I just want to a life own myself, not belong to them. I don't mind other relation except for love.
My main subject is broadcast, and drama. So I need a courage enchange mysellf, my teacher always saying I am not ordinary, my character always change, sometime I am outgoing, normal, But sometime I am quiet, depress. no one can know how a girl I am, Right, Even I don't know who I am, I am guessing I should find a psychology doctor solve this question. lol
Maybe, Just my conjecture.
Seriously, I don't want to give up . I still want to get rid of my heart disease. just becomming a common girl, a girl without any weirdly character.
who am I ? why I always feel I am unordinary? Buy why I always urge myself touch sunshine, even seem I am a optimism girl, Oh, I don't know, I don't know.
I trying to control myself , Yes I will, Wish I can find out tha girl who is I lost a long time, Thus is myself. ]]> http://cybercupidemag.com/forum/post.aspx?pkid=252 http://cybercupidemag.com/forum/post.aspx?pkid=251 But some guys think the chinese girls are Complex, and I am strange, some foreigners in CLM look for the true love, or look for the city in China,or look for the Net friend? They ask the girl where are you in China, do you know, there happens a lot of change of every cities in these few years in China. I have a joke, if you choose the girl of city , you can choose your city, it is near, and convenient, but how is the result…..
It is not to be confused by the superficial phenomenon, a picture, an action. It need to know each other, communicate each other, The furthest distance in the world, is not between life and death, not on each side, but I stand in front of you, yet you don't know that I love you.
]]> http://cybercupidemag.com/forum/post.aspx?pkid=250
However, we're a spiritual bunch, regardless of religion, and we believe that all members would wish the best of life for each other. Christian or not, there is hardly any better guiding principle than to "Do Unto Others As You Would Have Others Do Unto You!" and that is a principle we at CLM and ALM firmly believe in and hope all members will practise when interacting with each other.

Christmas has become a time of year when people around the globe hope for the best for everyone, and share feelings of warmth, peace and love for all mankind. In that spirit we wish each and every member a Christmas time filled with love, joy and family togetherness. May each of you find someone special right here in our community with whom to share all your future Christmas times together. ]]> http://cybercupidemag.com/forum/post.aspx?pkid=249 http://cybercupidemag.com/forum/post.aspx?pkid=248 http://cybercupidemag.com/forum/post.aspx?pkid=247 http://cybercupidemag.com/forum/post.aspx?pkid=246 http://cybercupidemag.com/forum/post.aspx?pkid=245 http://cybercupidemag.com/forum/post.aspx?pkid=244 http://cybercupidemag.com/forum/post.aspx?pkid=242 ]]>